I’m Not Old Enough To Be This Old

When my oldest son was born almost 21 years ago I remember being so excited that I would still be “young” when my kids grew up. So why is it that I feel so old???

I think I first knew something was amiss when I found that stray black hair in my chin about 3 years ago. Where the heck did that come from? I quickly plucked it out only to find that it came back. While annoying, I could totally deal with using tweezers every few weeks. I’m just thanking God it hasn’t brought friends. No big deal…

But then I turned 40 and it seemed that all my jeans suddenly became skinny jeans and I couldn’t use the I-think-I’m-just-a-bit-damp-from-the-shower excuse anymore as to why they seemed to go on so hard. Then I couldn’t get them on at all anymore. What???

And don’t even talk about swimsuits… only I had to talk about swimsuits because we were going to Hawaii for our 20th wedding anniversary. People were going to have to see me in a swimsuit. I was faced with a choice, change my diet or start exercising. Exercising it was…

Have I ever mentioned that I HATE exercising??? HATE IT!!! After several months of walking the lake, it just wasn’t enough and I knew it. I was going to have to kick it up a notch. So, I bit the bullet and loaded the Couch to 5K app on my iTouch and ran. Do you know that running sucks? Eventually I could run the entire 30 minutes. Then I even ran an official 5K race and passed other runners!

I was feeling pretty good about myself And then I made the dreaded mistake of stepping on the scale. I GAINED weight! It didn’t seem possible. It couldn’t be. I just kept telling myself that muscle weighs more than fat. Yet at some point I have to accept the fact that it’s probably not true. I am just not 23 anymore.

Why keep exercising? Because you have a heart attack “scare”. Yet when they admit you to the hospital, run a ton of tests and tell you that you are in perfect health and your heart looks great, you know it’s all worth it!

So why doesn’t it feel like it every day when I look in the mirror??? Maybe because I have to step further and further back to see myself in the mirror.

I am picking up my first pair of bifocals on Thursday. I used to be able to read anything I wanted. Now my arms are hardly long enough to read my “Why You Should Have a Mammogram” flyer the doctor gave me at my annual physical today. Ugh!

But 42 really isn’t that old. (Actually, I’m not 42 yet. I will be in May but I’ve been telling people I’m 42 all year long. Geez! Is my memory getting that bad that I don’t even know how old I am?)  It totally isn’t! Just don’t think about the fact that my sweet little “baby” is about to turn 21 in a few short weeks and is getting married in about 5 months…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!